I had to go to Kerrville, TX this past weekend for a trade show. This place is so Texas that it's scary. EVERYTHING is covered in cream gravy, people say "pah" instead of "pie", and they call everyone "darlin'". The best thing was the hotel. It was modeled after this ranch in Texas, which apparently is famous but I had never heard of it. The entire hotel was filled with dead animals. I'm not talking about a couple of deer heads scattered about, I'm talking like in the middle of the lobby was this massive bear, and on one side there were giraffes. I was thoroughly grossed out. So, like I always do when I'm uncomfortable, I got drunk.
The association that was hosting the show put together a reception, which included a few hors d'oeuvres, a keg of beer (which was free) and a couple of bottles of cheap wine (which was not free). So my coworkers and I decided to camp out near the free beer and try to entertain ourselves. That was fine for awhile, but we're really not that interesting. We came to the conclusion that beer alone was not going to get us through this conference so we spent the next 4 hours in the hotel bar.
Now, I don't have a whole lot of talents, but something that I've always been able to do is to chum up to people and get free drinks. It's not because I'm really cute, I think it's because I'm always willing to make an ass out of myself for a few laughs. I don't know exactly what I did that night, but we got lots of free shots out of it.
At least this place didn't take our sense of humor...